Menage a Mess! 

Dear Cookie,
I recently had the most embarrassing, thrilling and hysterical date. Yes, all three, simultaneously! I can honestly say it ranks as the Number 1 crazy date.  […continue reading about Menage a Mess!…]

Dear Cookie,
Do I have a story for you! HELP! Connor and I have been dating for over a month now. He’s a great guy and things are going well. He has 15-year old son, Gareth. They call him Gary. I’ve spoken with him on the phone from time to time when I call for Connor, but I had never met him in person. Anyway, I need some Cookie advice concerning something really weird that happened when I stopped by Connor’s house last week. […continue reading about Get Over It!…]

Moving Forward, Keeping Still,  The Gateway to Eastern Wisdom
Edited by John Kane
Published by Ariel Books 1997

When you’re too tired or too distracted or don’t have more than a couple of minutes to actually read something, open up this little gem to any page and prepare yourself for some abstract thinking time. It’s something we can all use.  […continue reading about Between the Stacks -Moving Forward, Keeping Still…]

Believe It or Not - I forgot my watch!

Dear Cookie,
I’m a single parent with a kid in 8th grade. I haven’t dated much for the past 3 years ago, but I’m pushing myself to meet people. I met Ron on an online dating site. He was a science teacher who lived a couple of towns over. We spoke on the phone and agreed to meet at the local ice cream place on a Sunday afternoon. I told him I had to be back to take my son somewhere at a certain time, so he knew my time constraints.

I got there right on time. For the next ½ hour every time a car drove into the parking lot I thought it might be him. I finally called his cell and left a message saying where are you? Right before I got into my car to leave, a guy on a motorcycle with a full helmet drove right up to me. He whipped off his helmet and said “Hi I’m Ron, you must be Darcy.” I asked him if he knew what time it was. He said he left his watch at home and it was such a nice day he wanted to ride his bike. I looked at him like he was an idiot; waiting for an apology but none came. I told him I had to leave and he looked genuinely surprised. Then he finally got it. “I blew it, huh?” he said. “Yea, you did.," I said really pissed off. "Do you really expect someone to put up with this? Good luck finding a matyr or maybe a doormat. Or maybe both. When you get your head out of your high school mentality, maybe then you'll be ready to date, ”  Then I got in my car and drove off, annoyed at myself for wasting my time with such am idiot.
Darcy, Hartford, CT
 

Dear Darcy: Fagetaboutit! He's not worth wasting any of your neurons on. You thought you were going to meet a smart, responsible adult and instead you met a self-centered, idiotic 15-year old. Unfortunately, there are plenty of guys and ladies like this, even at our age. (I know I've met MORE than my share!) Just be damn glad you only wasted 45 minutes of your life. Some people waste a lot more time (like five or ten years!) thinking things will change for the better and they never do. Don't be a hopeless wisher. It doesn't get you anywhere. NEXT!

The Doormat

I’ve known Jaclyn for the past 20 years. She’s a nice girl who has worked in office jobs as long as I can remember. She has two cats and no kids. She went to college for 1 year and always has a different excuse when someone asks why she doesn’t go back. It’s rare when she laughs, though she does smile now and then. […continue reading about The Doormat - Don't Let This Happen to You!…]

On-Line Dating: That First Phone Call

Now that you’ve gotten a gazillion responses from your profile, you’ll probably be emailing at least a few people, and then make, or receive, a phone call. Maybe you’ll opt to meet someone straight from email not knowing what they sound like until you actually meet. If you want to chance that you’ll like hearing their voice, go for it!  […continue reading about On-Line Dating: That First Phone Call…]

Dear Cookie,
Mike found me on a popular dating web site. He emailed me and said he liked my photo. I emailed him back and said the same. I didn’t hear from him again that night. The next day I was on, and saw he was too so I IM’ed him. He didn’t write very much in his profile so I asked him how long he’d been divorced and if he had children. He IM’ed me in two words. So I IM’ed him again, asking if he saw a movie that just opened. He answered in one word. I wasn’t sure about continuing, but I asked another since question to see what he’d say. This time he used more than a few words saying he hated typing and could we just talk on the phone. Since I wasn’t sure I even wanted to talk to him at this point, I asked if we could just IM for the moment. He IM’ed me back and wrote “WHAT’S F—-ING WRONG WITH THE GOD DAMN PHONE?” […continue reading about Believe It or Not — the Raging Schmoe…]

We are the masters of our own lives. So why doesn’t it feel like sometimes? Maybe more than sometimes. How can we keep our old baggage from following us around like gum stuck to our shoes? How can we free ourselves from the hurt of old wounds? How can we have lasting loving relationships? Pretty good questions, huh? These are things I periodically asked myself until I started reading the Mastery of Love. It spoke to me, got right to the point, and did it…nicely. Made me think about how I could change things so my life would work better. Absolutely worth reading.  […continue reading about The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship…]